What an interesting and theraputic weekend this has been so far. I had planned on going to NY with some friends, but on thursday my mom was admitted to the hospital. So I decided to stay home for a few reasons:
1. Friday night when I came home from the hospital I was a "basket case" to quote my brain at the time. And I didn't feel like I had the energy to venture away from home.
2. I wanted to be around for emotional support for my mom, and to keep myself sane by being near by.
3. So I could be easily reachable when they received results from certain tests done on Saturday morning.
4. So I could get work done.
Friday night when I left the hospital, my mind was bouncing around in all sorts of different directions, none of which were much help since they were all different possible story lines which may or may never happen; but it was hard to let them go. After talking with J. for a little while I realized that I needed something to keep me focused in the moment and away from the chaos in my mind... Knitting!
This is really the first time I've used knitting as a necessary form of concentration. I had to get concentrated, focused, still. Luckily I hadn't yet cast on for this 4th mystery project, so I pulled out my needles and provisionally cast on 232 sts—that certainly took some concentration. In fact, the whole beginning of the pattern took quite a bit of concentration. I must have sat there for about an hour focusing on knitting only. It quieted my mind enough to bring me back to reality and to realize that I really don't need to worry, that everything will work out okay. It always does. But of course, there was still that doubt lingering...
Anyway, my mom is out of the hospital now, but there are still tests to be run and we're not in-the-clear yet, but it's comforting knowing that she's at home and comfortable. I really don't know what I would have done with myself this weekend if I didn't have my knitting to fall onto... and yoga (jeesh, my class this morning was rough!).
